About This Shirt

Well, there's a reason I'm not allowed within five hundred feet of Santa's magical workshop at the North Pole. That reason? That reason is you, my dear, because when I think about you, I touch my elf. I don't want anybody else; when I think about you, I touch my elf. It's more than just a Divinyls pun; it's a problem that got me put on Santa's naughty list (when I would much rather have my name on your naughty list, beautiful). I was on the right track, I swear! I was standing outside of Walgreens in my Santa suit ringing my bell for the Salvation Army. I was donating all of my old clothes to Goodwill. I was giving my canned goods to the food pantry, and this time I gave them things that weren't expired or disgusting. I was on the path to the Nice List...until I thought of you. Once I thought of you, well, I touched my elf, and Santa got very upset. So, now instead of that great flatscreen television, the PS3, and Skyrim I get a lump of coal in my stocking and a restraining order from Santa's Workshop. So, please contact Santa on my behalf, and perhaps when he sees you he'll understand my dilemma.

Have questions about our shirts? Need details on sizing and fit? Get all your questions answered right here.

We offer USPS Priority Mail shipping for all orders to anywhere within the United States. Want to know when you'll receive your stuff or how we ship? All is revealed in our frequently asked questions.